Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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