i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
