I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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