I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
