Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
