I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
its liver damage thursday
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
