im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
