You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
