So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Reggie can tackle my bush.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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