Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
