yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
