you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
