Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
