Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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