I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
