my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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