you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
