there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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