some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
pop tarts are not kleenex
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
