Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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