Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
