last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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