Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
