My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
