im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
