you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
