apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
