If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
it was like eating out sand paper
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
