Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
