k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
