So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
