So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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