Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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