I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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