i think my tv is drunk
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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