No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
When did angry sex become our thing?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
