I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
