you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
