just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
