how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
