dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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