You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
