like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I want a musical about memes.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
