After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
