Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
