just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
