Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
