dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
