What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I said "one day" and that day is not today
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
