why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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