And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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