I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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