Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
